Hours away from kicking 2013 to the curb and greeting 2014 in with open arms. It is no secret except to those who were not listening that 2013 was a VERY VERY hard year for this gal - heck let's be honest it kicked my butt and mopped the floor with me but I am not dead and buried. I have done my best which in many respects was not enough and then in other issues I managed to move mountains.
I do not wish to give 2013 one more moment of my time and rather choose to look foreword to a NEW YEAR, NEW ADVENTURE and NO BOUNDARIES.
This last year has opened my eyes to the fact that I have given far too much of my time to folks who only take and never give. I have stood still and stopping reaching for my highest good thinking that other's deserved to be put first in all things. Somewhere over time I completely lost sight to put myself on the to do list - NO MORE..
I lost many dear and old friends this last year but the passing of my Kasha almost was my last stand. I sat next to her grave and could not find a reason to keep going and then I remembered - I have NEVER in my life given up, NEVER ran away from hard times and this was really going to be a battle. I am willing to go down but not without giving it my all.
LETTING GO is not something I know or do but I am in complete trust and understanding that I am supported by the universe and by many kind folks. I saw this week just how many souls have stepped up to assist me financially and how many have offered words of support, love and even places to come and rest. I was overwhelmed by the fact that so many understood just how much this farm and the souls I shared it with means to me and you cried with me over the changes that face me now. I also saw how to many my loss was their gain for all types of reasons but again I do not wish to spend time given them words to this page.
So 2014 is going to be full of changes for this gal. Those who know me you understand how change is only happening when I can control every inch of it, I have planned it out every move and I know the answers before any question is ever asked. WELL NOT THIS TIME. I am going to work on going with the flow, letting others help me even if they don't do it my way, breathe through the scary parts and believe all this is for my higher good. I know it sounds like one of those self help books about farting rainbows in a hail storm but thess things I know to be true because they are exactly what got me to this farm and this life 17 years ago and that was the best ride so far... I can't wait to see what I create next.
I hope you all will follow along with my new life - a rebirth for this gal. Some things I will keep - some things I have already kicked to the curb. Some folks will be given a wave goodbye while I wave with both hands to new lands and faces. I wish for all who read this to make 2014 a new adventure in some way - it can be small or it can be as big as what I am facing but please share with me what is going on - how can we grow and learn if we do not share???
I am also going to be honest with you all - I have enjoyed sharing my world with you but I admit I am tired of feeling like I am talking to a blank wall. I know that many of you read my words and you share your thoughts but I have many many more who read and never write a word. I would love to just know what you are thinking - you do not have to agree, disagree or some such thing but I really have to wonder why I do this if it does not connect with someone. So PLEASE let me know if this should even continue because I talk to myself enough - typing to myself is just a waste of finger action.
Love and Light and HAPPY NEW YEAR from the soon to be gone Larkspur Funny Farm
19 comments:
no, you are not talking to yourself. we are here. we listen. and i have tons of hugs to send your way for your new beginning.
I have such a hard time embracing change. I feel it took me many years to "grow up" and realize I should not live a certain way only to please others (all the while being dishonest to myself). There were times I kept on a certain course (career wise, mostly) far longer than I should have. But when I let go of those paths that were becomming more and more of a struggle for me, I found something SO much better! I think when we go in a new direction there is always mourning for all the others paths that were lost, for whatever reason...
I hope you continue connecting in this space, but even more, I hope you mostly do what brings you joy and peace. There must be something better waiting for you just around the bend - maybe just a few more steps and you will be able to see what it is! Happy new year, Grace!
-Jaime
Grace,
May 2014 be filled with many blessings for you. I am excited for you. You sound a lot like I did when I moved back to IL two years ago. I was at my lowest point and had given too much of myself to others. It was the best thing I ever did for me. I know that there is a great plan for you and I look forward to reading about it on your blog.
Love and hugs,
Kay
Please don't stop writing! It has been 6 years now since we first met and I have lived an amazing farm life vicariously through you. Cherishing every moment in reading about the new babies, the animals that visit and all of the other amazing stories. You have been one of the biggest inspirations to me. You may only touch one heart, but that one heart may be inspired by you and touch 10, 000 hearts! Love you Pea Pod!
I love to hear what is going on and what you think and feel about things. I hope you will continue to write and keep us posted as I would really miss hearing about the world you live in, no matter where that may be. you are still grace and I have learned and laughed with you for a while now. I hope that doesn't have to end. we just don't know, do we....and isn't it exciting. love , your friend in texas frannie...all wrapped up in my red scarf
Grace, I don't think you have any idea how many lives you touch with your writing. I don't comment every time, but I read them all. You are NOT talking to a wall. Your tenacity, humor & love of life have helped me through some very rough times this past year. We won't even go where your fiber has taken me - it's too special to put into words. I'll have to let the finished yarns speak for themselves :O) May 2014 be filled with peace & blessings as you start on the next journey. And remember, it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Love, hugs & prayers. Andrea
My Dear Wonderful Grace - you have NO idea how glad I am that we have re-connected. The circumstances that brought this about are ironic - unusual - God directed - and so much more. We never know what lies ahead but it is truly amazing the way life leads us through lessons and growth and spirituality. I try and post each day on Facebook a 'positive' message and have often wondered 'why bother'... a handful of people 'like' it or leave a comment. But then I'll see someone in church or a friend from work and they stop and tell me in person how those positive messages have directly made an amazing change in their life or helped them make an important decision that turned out to be life altering. Keep posting and writing, my dear - you DO make a difference. Many blessings of life and of love from this day forward. (((GRACE)))
Grace,
As you can see I just found you, I have been reading for the past couple of days. Trying to catch my breath in between your past postings.
I admire your honesty,strength,and love of amimals.
As for comments, I too have a blog and get more comments through my e mail direct,than on my page.
So, I know people who matter are reading.
PLEASE do not let the lack of comments stop you from sharing with those that do care and want to read and comment.
You are such an inspriation to this old gal,who still gets up every day and goes to the barn.
I wish you much peace and happines in this new year.
Thank you for sharing your life!
Teri
Dearest Grace, you are full of so much Love and Grace, you are truly a blessing to have and hold so dear in my Forever Heart. I am reading you posts again after a long time in between has passed, due to many heart breaks that I seem to face each and everyday. We are both strong will and determined to carry on. And what is even more the bond, the connection we share is engraved deep into our HeartSoul, so much so, that you kept me Always with you even when I was unabe to speak, as I often seem to be. Know that you are Always with me and the Fiber you have hand spun for me are living, breathing and the purest of LOVE. Thank you for caring enough to BE here for me and all whom love you and I am sending you Love and Light as you continue on this journey and experience during this lifetime we are sharing, and I am grateful you walk with me on the path of Love, Peace and Harmony. I am Forever Loving You, shary lou
Dear One, I need to leave my comment as anonymous said due to my memory, I have a google account, yet unable to remember the name or password...you know who I am as I will sign with shary lou...Namaste, shary lou
Grace, your words touch me...every single one of them. I feel a lot of myself in your words and experiences. I'm a single mom raising two boys and trying to make a go of this farm. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have learned though, over the past few years, that I am a strong woman and can handle whatever comes my way, even if it knocks me down to start I always get back up again to fight another day. I know you have that strength in you too. You have such a love of your animals and this world...the world of nature and the peace and balance it brings to you will always be there....just walk outside and take a deep breath when the walls close in. I do. You will make it this coming New Year....an adventure in the making :) In some ways, I am envious...lol. Just know that you have lots of folks who love you and support you and send daily hugs and energy your way. ((Hugs)) from a sister across the miles, Susan Maguire
I'm sorry...but you have to!! Mom worries!
Katy :)
I often feel like that when I have so many followers, and no comments. We are all reading and listening, even if we forget to comment. Hugs!
(((hugs)))
grace I am wishing you much success in this new year..may the blank pages be written with all the wonderful things you will find and accomplish!
I got my order and thank you so very much!!!!!!! The lost lamb is adorable !!!
I only found your blog this year-that next blog button can be both helpful and addictive! I've been trying to make changes in my life, very hard, but I've decided that 2014 is the year I make my life into more than
"dustbunnies and dog hair"! Good luck to us both!
That last one should be from Rob's Mom--Gail Hickam Fines. Not sure how it happened, it might happen again!
Dear Grace, I don't comment much, I am not as good with words as you but I feel so close to you for sharing your life and animals. I have a deep love for animals too and not everyone understands that. Wishing the best for you and yours in 2014.
Jalia in Pueblo
Oh my I read but am guilty of not making a comment because I can never get it to go right. Grace I met you at a time when I was so low and as a stranger you wrote to me lifted my spirits. I will be forever grateful. I bought fibers and didn't even know what to do with them but I did it I taught myself to knit. I sure hope you do not stop writing here as I will miss it. I am sure where ever 2014 takes you who ever is blessed with your company are very lucky people. Big hugs Sandy a faithful etsy shopper.
I wish for you all good things. You have shared your heart and soul and sense of humor on these pages. I have laughed out loud and been moved to tears by your words. Your writing is truly a gift, thanks for sharing it. Take time now to heal yourself -body and soul. Be good to Grace now. And if and when you have the strength, I hope you will continue to share your journey on these pages. Blessings, Liz
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