Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My middle name is BALL BUSTER

It has been a bit since I wrote last but I have not been standing around peeing on myself - unlike so many here at the farm.....

Half of my farm is smelly, sticky and in a all out fighting mood... O.K. Maybe I am like that!!!

Dealing with boy goats in rut season has it's moments and issues but this gal is not new to the rodeo.  Trust me at times it is like deal with bucking bronco's or in a bull fighting ring.  I have had two break outs of hormonally challenged guys in the past 5 days and as the phrase comes to mind "Herding Cats" that can be what I am facing when you are also having hormonally challenged goat girls sticking their butts through fencing or calling from the locked barn.  I can not blame any of them because it is what keeps their blood lines alive but I again am not planning to breed anyone.  Before the eye rolling starts I know I have two babies that where complete surprises to all here but I work my best not to have any.

So with all my bag of tricks that I have gathered from 17 years of hormonal issues, a great farm layout that helps in this uncontrolled running and running that can happen on 35 acres and the understanding that this is all part of the deal I have made - at least for today.

This would make a great chapter or two in the book everyone states I should write and I think I might call it - "How NOT to think with you Private Parts" Who knows it might also work for the two legged hormonally challenged.  I won't bore you all with all the ways I do this (at least not for now unless someone has specific issues that need addressing) but I will say the day I can not out think them is the day I know my brain has failed me.

I will talk about the second event where I had all the 3 and 4 year old out and they ran me more then I liked but also their behavior needed some retraining.  Now before everyone gets all hot and bothered this is how in nature this would occure so trust me I follow Mother Nature in almost all I do.  Once I got the 3 and 4 year old back into their pen I went to work on their retraining.  The girls while I was working on getting the boys back were locked into their barn.  I turn on the radio in the barn loudly which makes them sit down and shut up.  See it is really hard to get the boys to listen to me if those gals are calling them.  Next, I put up the hens and shut their doors because running billies do not care if they step on little feather girls.  Then I followed by wiring shut gates that normally just use their latches because trust me 9 billies can break that if they wish.  Then I went into the house, went to the ladies room, put on heavier clothes and the serious gloves - left the CD player in the house and got ready to rumble.

I then centered myself and let the retraining begin.  What the young billies did not realize is I have enforcement team.  I whistled to the dogs and they got out of their nap time and anchored their spots.  I talked with Llama Boy and Dot about watching my back.  So once after getting them into their pen I stood in the center and started running them.  Hand signals and whistles got them to move in the directions I wanted - they knew this but again hormones get in the way.  I ran them through this over and over and over - almost an hour.  They were getting tired and wanting me to stop but just when that point happened I ran them again.  Then I stood and they came over as if to say "Mom, we get it" but this gal is not done.

Just when they thought the lesson was over I walked over to the next pasture (which houses the older breeding billies) and opened the gate.  I whistled and they walked nicely in.  I shut the gate and wired it shut.  The young guys looked at me like "What is wrong Mom, did you know you wired the gate?" - just then I whistled and out of nowhere the big guys appeared.  You should have seen the young boys faces - eyes bugged and they started calling to me...  Yes, Monk started making short work of the young ones.  No, I am not wishing anyone to be hurt but they really needed their life lessons.  I went and got a chair and sat there as I watched over the retraining.  I know my big guys and if someone got a bit too aggressive all I had to do was call their name and they eased off a bit but not letting up until all figured it out. 

I checked on everyone through the night to make sure all was well and each time I came out the young one's asked to go back to their pen but the answer is NO...

It has been two days and the ranking is restored and they now know who REALLY does have the BIG BALLS at the farm.  When I walked into the pen today all remembered it is THIS GAL WHO WEARS THE PANTS AND CAN BUST YOUR BALLS IF YOU FORGET THE RULES...

1 comment:

Michele' said...

oh girl what a great story on the goats & you.....you put on the big girl panties & showed those boys a thing or two..lol.....I have never had to deal with 2 billy goats bu I sure remember the rams & their sneaky mean ways with other rams & people..lol...I hit the dirt (aka manure) face first a few times turning my back on a randy ram. at least with the roos I can just pick them up & take them where I want when they decide to see who has the bigger roo balls...yeap like you Momma has the bigger of them...lol...great story my dear.