Monday, January 22, 2018

Not sure about a lot of things

It has been what seems to be a lifetime since I have typed here and not sure if bringing this page back to life is a good idea or a waste of all of our limited time.  I must admit I have missed talking to you all (those who are left in my following) and hearing back from you as to what is on your hearts and minds. We have shared tons - good, bad, joys and tears and through it all I have been so blessed to have you all in my life.  It has been and still is a bumpy road for the past 4 years and I am still not out of the tunnel but I know I am not alone in this which in some ways makes the journey not so scary. 

I have felt SO lost without my farm and animals that I really have struggled to find a purpose and joy.  I have been greatly disappointed by a few friends who placed me farther behind in my financial life along with my ability to trust.  Learned TONS of lessons from working at the Bates Motel and hopefully helped a few folks on the way.  So this year I have already made some big strides in changing things and promised myself to stop waiting on others to see me, include me in their worlds and be happy for and with me.

Which brings me to the couple of reasons I thought I might breath life into this site and see where it takes me or should I say us.  I have been struggling since leaving the farm to define who I am as an artist. If I do not have my hand raised fiber in my shop we am I?.  I have purchased some fleeces from new breeders and just have not been that thrilled because when I touch the fleece I did not have any connection with it.  I know it sounds strange but it is true - there is something magical about the process of loving on an animal for a year before you get to clip of that lush fiber and then create with it.  Yes, I did in the past purchase fiber that was not one of my animals but each creative offering did have at least a pinch of my sweet fur family.  I am amazed how this has placed my artistic side in a funk - the fiber just does not speak to me like it did before.  Also, not being able to do my dyeing process has kept my colorful mind in gray tones.

With all that being said I have been playing with some new products and also working on redesigning my whole online presence.  No easy task for this techno challenged gal but I am with each step mastering a tiny piece to this whole puzzle.  I get up and do my famous HAPPY DANCE when I am able to execute some small silly "geek" task - may seem silly to most but this is the only way I wont throw my hands in the air and wish to throw the computer across the room.  I know childish but I am honest about it.

So before I go too far down this rabbit hole again I turn to you kind folks and see if there is any interest in reading about my new and less animal filled creative life or should I just go and find a park bench, sit on it and talk to the birds as the fly by?   WOW, that sure did sound pathetic and manipulative but then I guess the writing of blogs is in some way a cry to be seen in a fast paced world that hardly looks up from their screens while also having the desire to create a sense of community with others around the world.  No small task and not sure if in the age of Twitter, Snap Chat and Instagram ( I have an account just not sure how to use it) that blogging is the "THING" to do?  Yes I am also considering doing Vlogging (is that with two g's or one?)

Dipping my toe back in and seeing if the water is warm or ice cold..

What you think??  Be Honest I can take it - I promise I wont turn into a puddle in the corner (Yep, another shameless attempt to get validation)

Hope to hear from those who are left here. 
Signing out to let you think about it.


Ngo Family Farm said...

Hi Dear Grace!! You have a gift for storytelling and sharing life lessons whether or not you're writing about your farm. Please keep sharing here if it serves you well! I have limited time online these days due to a medical condition I'm trying to heal from, but I would love seeing posts from you when I can. I'm torn between the instagram vs blogging thing (although I don't even have an instagram account -ha!) - it's fun to look at pretty pictures, but I think the story is the part that really matters. I hope you are able to find your creative joy again. I understand what you mean about the connection to the one you've cared for. I feel the same way when I use purchased milk, for example, instead of my own herd's goat milk. The reverence for it just comes more naturally when it's your own. Wishing you all good things and peace.


larkspur funny farm said...

My Dearest Jamie - thank you so much for stopping and checking in. Your kind words mean the world to me and I so enjoyed our past musings. I hope your family is doing well and I have you always in the healing light. I must admit I love telling the stories that made up my life and while I am starting some new adventures I am praying that while I stroll down the road before me I can find some snippets of time to share with others. I love also hearing and reading of the strides and bravery of other such as yourself. Love, Light and many HUGS to you and your family.

Kristina said...

So glad to see you. By all means, we would love to hear from you. Call it a new, good change in your life and experiences. I would miss my animals too, and I do miss our goats, but life throws us changes we will be facing. Hugs.

Aprons and More said...

So glad to see you back! Mom and I have wondered what was going on with you. Please keep writing...even if it is just a caption to a picture. We have missed you!
Katy :)

larkspur funny farm said...

Thanks so very much Kristina for making me feel so welcome - I am trying to find ways to be with animals even if it is not with a farm and with new ways of approaching what I love and miss so much. I think I also missed you all more then I would like to admit - your like family and need to connect back up. Great to have you back in my FUNNY Life. Grace

larkspur funny farm said...

Hey Katy and Mom - so have missed you and have kept you in my prayers. I know Mom loved hearing about the fur babies - now it is just Maribella the sweet cat but I hope soon to be working with animals everyday. Fingers crossed and wonderful to hear from you two as well. Hugs Grace

ladybug loves lilacs said...

Grace, So glad to see you writing! I have unelected my blog but life takes presidence. I would love to hear about your journey in your world of creativity. I understand how much you must miss the farm and animals. But keep writing. Love hearing all that is happening with you and hope to be a friend who can encourage you along the way if only a little bit.

Joanne Peyton said...

I was just browsing through my etsy purchases this morning and saw you there. I am so glad you are there and here. If you can't have your own animals, are there some out there to mentor and help with. I have went through big changes in the last year as well, we left Alaska and landed in Washington. I hope you find your joy again Grace. I know it's there inside of you!
Hugs and hope

Unknown said...

Grace I just looked you up because I used to follow you on Mary Janes Farm when a bunch of you gals were raising goats—I loved that thread and always thought I’d raise animals but life took me in a different direction too. Oddly I find myself back on the farm instead of a retirement home and just bought my first goats. And My first beautiful Great Pyr. Realizing how much I don’t know. Wish I could find that old thread on the MJ chat thing but it does not seem to be there any more. All your posts there would make one heck of a book. I wish you were still giving advice. I’m sad that you are not raising animals as that was your true calling.