Not sure about a lot of things

It has been what seems to be a lifetime since I have typed here and not sure if bringing this page back to life is a good idea or a waste of all of our limited time.  I must admit I have missed talking to you all (those who are left in my following) and hearing back from you as to what is on your hearts and minds. We have shared tons - good, bad, joys and tears and through it all I have been so blessed to have you all in my life.  It has been and still is a bumpy road for the past 4 years and I am still not out of the tunnel but I know I am not alone in this which in some ways makes the journey not so scary. 


I have felt SO lost without my farm and animals that I really have struggled to find a purpose and joy.  I have been greatly disappointed by a few friends who placed me farther behind in my financial life along with my ability to trust.  Learned TONS of lessons from working at the Bates Motel and hopefully helped a few folks on the way.  So this year I have already made some big strides in changing things and promised myself to stop waiting on others to see me, include me in their worlds and be happy for and with me.


Which brings me to the couple of reasons I thought I might breath life into this site and see where it takes me or should I say us.  I have been struggling since leaving the farm to define who I am as an artist. If I do not have my hand raised fiber in my shop we am I?.  I have purchased some fleeces from new breeders and just have not been that thrilled because when I touch the fleece I did not have any connection with it.  I know it sounds strange but it is true - there is something magical about the process of loving on an animal for a year before you get to clip of that lush fiber and then create with it.  Yes, I did in the past purchase fiber that was not one of my animals but each creative offering did have at least a pinch of my sweet fur family.  I am amazed how this has placed my artistic side in a funk - the fiber just does not speak to me like it did before.  Also, not being able to do my dyeing process has kept my colorful mind in gray tones.


With all that being said I have been playing with some new products and also working on redesigning my whole online presence.  No easy task for this techno challenged gal but I am with each step mastering a tiny piece to this whole puzzle.  I get up and do my famous HAPPY DANCE when I am able to execute some small silly "geek" task - may seem silly to most but this is the only way I wont throw my hands in the air and wish to throw the computer across the room.  I know childish but I am honest about it.


So before I go too far down this rabbit hole again I turn to you kind folks and see if there is any interest in reading about my new and less animal filled creative life or should I just go and find a park bench, sit on it and talk to the birds as the fly by?   WOW, that sure did sound pathetic and manipulative but then I guess the writing of blogs is in some way a cry to be seen in a fast paced world that hardly looks up from their screens while also having the desire to create a sense of community with others around the world.  No small task and not sure if in the age of Twitter, Snap Chat and Instagram ( I have an account just not sure how to use it) that blogging is the "THING" to do?  Yes I am also considering doing Vlogging (is that with two g's or one?)


Dipping my toe back in and seeing if the water is warm or ice cold..


What you think??  Be Honest I can take it - I promise I wont turn into a puddle in the corner (Yep, another shameless attempt to get validation)


Hope to hear from those who are left here. 
Signing out to let you think about it.