Another House Guest

Now I know you folks think sometimes I just could not be living the life I do but here is proof again that the outside critters think I must be running a hotel.

Over the weekend I had three of these sweet little one's come running into the house while I was trying to go out and move the hoses again.  They sure are fast little ones.  Now I could not find them and thought well surely they will go back outside if I just leave the doors open.  As I was sitting down for the first time in hours and heard this horrible sound.  Yep, the mouse trap sprung and one of the three little ones got caught and it was not pretty.  I did not feel you needed a picture of that.  Then I saw one go out the kitchen door so that left one little sweet one.

I tried as best I could to block the stairs that went down to the fiber room and just hoped this would be resolved soon.  Went upstairs to pretend to sleep and I could hear it running around.

As I came downstairs in the morning I started to make a cup of tea and eggs.  You know how you get that feeling that someone is watching well trust that feeling.  I went to get the eggs from the frig - sure enough this was standing at my bare feet.  I went to get the camera and had to wait a bit till he or she came out from under the frig.  Sure enough out it came and I got several pic's.

Then it took some great herding techniques to get it outside and continue on with my day.  So now it is a race to open the door and get out or in without them trying to get back in - silly little buggers.  Not sure why so many four legged want to come in - guess they heard the room service was 5 stars. 

Who is stay with you at your house??

HOWLING and Growling

I am cleaning the barn by FULL MOON and listening to the packs of Coyotes singing.  The animals are sticking very close by and I must admit that at times it places my hair on the back of my heck standing on end...  I love doing my outside work when the sun goes down because the heat is gone and the peaceful silence is heavenly.  However, tonight you must be a "Child of the Dark" - to want to dance by the FULL MOON and lift your head to the sky and HOWL......

My Office Window View

As the Sun was setting in the West this is what I saw - Not sure if I would call this Amazing or Up Setting?  What do you think?

New Wee One Found a Safe Home

We have a new Larkspur Funny Farm guest - a sweet wee little wild bunny....  This wee one has no parents and is very lost and needy.  This morning while I was standing and waiting for the water bucket to fill this very little one came right up and stood on my foot.  Imagine my surprise and also how my heart went out to it.  I waited till it hopped off my foot and then I slowly walked with the bucket to fill the hens water dishes.  I could not believe it but it followed me.  In the coop, out of the coop and back to the water pump.  This continued as I filled the big billies water containers and then Llama boys.  So I thought - get the camera Grace - I always miss out on getting the pictures of what is going on here.

Back from the house with camera in hand and the wee one was waiting for me right where I left it.  So I sat down slowly on the ground and started to take pictures.  It is so scared but also so loving that it came right into my lap and I even broke my rule - Yes I did pet the little one..  I know slap my wrist and sit in the corner.  Now, don't you do that and NO wild things should not be treated like a pet....

So after the picture taking session I told the  wee one that we needed to get back to work.  I slowly stood up and placed it in the tall grass and walked off to finish chores.  Yep, I had a buddy while working.  During the day while I moved the hoses there the wee one was waiting for me to come down the stairs and then it followed along and returned to the shade under the stairs.  As I finished the last check tonight with flashlight in hand there was the wee one waiting for me.  However, this time so was Dot and he is watching over the wee one.  Now that is my GREAT GUY - Dot is really getting into this watching over little ones and this really is a tiny little one.

Hannibal, My Batty and Painted Nails

What do these things have in common??  The silly way Grace walks in the world.

Yep, I decided last night the smoke was getting to me so I came in and ran a pan of nice soapy water to soak my feet in and get ready to watch my favorite show Hannibal...  I had the front door open and the kitchen door open to get the smoke to hopefully leave the house.  The billies where sitting on the driveway resting and trying to cope with the smoke as well.  Picture this, I had a nice cup of Iced Tea sitting close at hand, I had painted me very stubbyover worked finger nails,  my feet soaking in the warm water, the start of the show was giving a low glow to the smoke filled living room and OUT LIKE A LIGHT GRACE WENT.   Yep, you got it - never can sleep but NOW I fall asleep...

Fast forward 50 minutes and I woke up as the show was ending, I reached to take a sip of my tea as I mumbled how mad I was to have fallen asleep.  As I drank I chocked - CRAP I swallowed a Miller Moth that had landed in my tea and must have failed at the back stroke.  As I jumped forward I forgot my feet had become a wrinkled mess in the now ice cold water so I dumped around 8 cups of soapy water on the carpet.  As I jumped up I had no idea that my little Kitchen bat had snuck in and was sitting on the blanket next to me.  So I scared the bat crap out of him and he was flying in a panic all around.  With all this racket going on my billies must have thought I was being killed in the house because up the front deck stairs they came and right through the open front door.  Yep, 8 billies in my living room. 

OH MY GOSH + ONLY IN MY LIFE IS THIS A THURSDAY NIGHT......

So I yelled  "OUT"!!!  Bat went out the kitchen door, the billies turned and ran out the front door...  I drank a glass of water to help aid the Miller Moth down it's path- we just are not going to think of it besides it is not as bad as what Hannibal eats..  I went and put towels on the spill and walked upstairs and took off the nail polish that was in such a mess.  After all was said and done I was WIDE AWAKE and did not find sleep until 4 am this morning and was back up by 6 am..  Crap Batman - now I am wondering what happened on Hannibal - guess I am watching Hulu later in the wee hours...

So how did you spend last night????

Where there is SMOKE there is FIRE

Last Night Was ANOTHER SCARY Night. 

Another fire broke out in the foothills of Jefferson County - caused by a lightening strike that they thought was out.  By 5 pm the smoke here at the farm was getting worse and all of us jumped in  that panic mode.  Our bodies are now responding in flight mode and our brains can not even control it.  I spent many hours calming the animals but how do you give calmness to others when I am anything but??

I turned out the billies to the forest hoping I could easy their minds with walking in the tall grasses (their pasture is almost dirt) and get them to nibble on the tender Scrub Oak Leaves.  Picture 8 big horned billies glued to me and talking softly of their worry and the time they where by themselves.  My guilt of not being with them during that time brought me to tears again and my heart broke all over.  Sophia was on edge and did not want us wondering about in the smoke filled night but I felt it was really important that we all try to feel safe in our bodies.  Once they started nibbling I stayed for a bit and then told them I was going to get the girls out of their pastures and out in the back yard.  Yeah Right.  All 8 followed me right back to the gate and stood there the whole time I was just on the other side of the house.

I went to get the girls and again they were so glued to me that I could hardly walk. Have you seen the ad where the guy has his cats on his feet as he walks, that was me but only with 23 goats.  The voices were growing and growing with each step we took away from the barn.  Dot gently kicked a few of them away so he could be right on me.  As he hummed in my ear his baby song that he would be saying to his llama mom if he could be with her.  Dot was trembling but understood I was with them.  I got them out to the only tender grass left and they started nibbling so I thought - GREAT - I can not do a bit of housekeeping in the barn because it was lacking.  I walked to the barn, turned on the lights and started raking up all the fiber that has been blown out and destroyed.  With only a minute or two in the process I turned and there stood all the girls right behind me.  Their eyes told it all, "MOM, where in the world did you go?" Now I told them what I was going to do so what was the problem?  Yep, they are so scared and thinking that MOM will be no where to be found in their hour of need...  Yep, buckets of tears and guilt hit me again...

So outside I went, put the rake down, allowed those who needed to lick my arms (Yuck) and stood with them until they walked off.  Back to the barn I went and quickly I raked and filled water.  Gave the babies tons of hugs and kisses, loved on Chief.  Just then a helicopter flew over head and I had all the goats running full speed for me.  I have black and blue legs today because stopping happened only when they reached me.  I can not even explain the fear and panic I saw and felt in them.  So another hour of sitting with them, letting them tell their story over and over again and Yes, loads of licking. 

After they girls calmed down I shut the gate and told them MOM would keep watch.  I went to go put up the billies but instead found them hugging the doors of the shop in a single row.  They were trying to be brave but my big boys wanted me to sit and allow them to tell their stories and just have me be part of their group.  I agreed that we all needed that so about another hour on the ground and filling my lungs with smoke.  Good thing I stopped smoking when I was 20 years old. 

It was a very long night of checking on everyone, checking the farm and checking news updates on the fires burning in my state.  I caught cat naps here and there with the animals and sitting in my living room between nervous energy busy work.  Here I am looking at another day and just wondering why or how I do this??  I hate to feel so lost in purpose - this is just not me.  I know other are facing much more today and so I pinch myself and tell myself "Get a Grip" but I admit I just am worn to the bone.  However, no time to have a pity party right this moment - we are to get into the 90's today, no rain in sight, winds to pick up and more worry to about - I admit my mediation time is not working and I refuse to take medication so it is what it is.... 

Hope to find something wonderful to write about soon.  Hate to be such a DEBBIE DOWNER.  Please forgive me for dragging out the worries of the farm and myself but I hope by doing this I can make room in my heart and brain to see the light.  Maybe, just Maybe!

Fire - Fear - Faith

This has been a week of more then words can capture.  Fires seem to be now the norm for Colorado.  At this same time last year I had two on either side of my farm but at a distance in which I felt I would be safe.  This year all bets are off. Last Tuesday night I sat with my goat girls at the highest point in their pasture and watched the red flames top the horizon as the night fell on us.  I sat eating an orange and trying to tell them that we were going to be O.K.  They girls sat with me licking my arms as if to say "We believe you Mommy"  They knew I was lying and so did I. 

No sleep was had by any of us on the farm through the night and all I could do was believe that there was a plan in place for me but again I was lying to myself.  As I had all my paperwork ready and clothing packed that night then came the task of thinking what to take.  I guess for the past couple years I have become so unattached to most things that all the crystal, pictures, crafts, fabric and such means nothing.  I have two main loves - My Animals and My Fiber Tools.  I know to others they are attached to more.

The drama of the battle over pre evacuation or mandatory evacuation went on for most of the afternoon made matters worse.  The smoke grew and the heat was growing.  I spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how to keep the animals calm and believe in the years of breeding and training for their survival.  My animals are smart, talented and above all they are a group.  So what to do.  Kasha my oldest Great Pry has been struggling for months and now she was not doing very well.  So I made the hardest decision of my life, to take my other two Pry's and the two baby goats.  Now this does not come lightly but here is what I believe and here is my test.

First, I believe that we are never separated from those we love - that here at the farm many have crossed over but they are never gone to me.  Second, that each day I try to give my best and all to those I care for and love.  I understand that we all die and we never get to pick that moment so do what you love and even when it does not go as planned we really are not in charge of the plan.

So with that in my mind and heart I tried to keep it together and do my best.. I finished getting the fiber tools packed and in the back end of my truck.  I even managed to find the strength to pick up the huge carding machine, walk it to the truck and into the front seat.  I wont tell you all the four letter words that I shouted in order to get it there but let's just say that was going to be the only way to summon up the energy to lift and walk it - trust me I am paying for it with stomach pains that is close to giving birth.  While this is going on I had over head going every 5 minutes the huge military helicopters going to a pond behind my property to use those buckets  to get water.  What freaked me out on this is they only where going to what appeared to be the end of our road.  Holly Crap we are in trouble....

Then came getting the dogs.  Here is also what you need to know - these hard working, loving dogs DO NOT LEAVE the farm.  They do not ride in the truck nor to EVER go to town.  So they walked nicely to the truck but have you every had to lift, push and shove a huge bear into a small hole - well, I have twice...After getting them into the truck it was now time to get the baby goats.  They came right up and as I bent to pick them up a Sheriff's car came down the driveway with lights and noise going.  At this point you could not see your hand at the end of my arm so that freaked the babies and off they ran in the smoke.  I tried to catch them but the dogs were going nuts trying to get to the sheriff.  I ran to the truck trying to explain we where leaving.  This scared  young man decided being a bully was the way to deal with the situation.  As my huge dogs are  rocking the truck, teeth gnashing and doing their best impression of Cujo I had to get in the truck and leave.  As I am crying down my driveway I had to turn it all over to the universe and believe that our highest good would be met.  YEAH RIGHT!!!!  I am driving down a road that you can not really even see with two dogs trying to sit on my head and I am thinking everyone I love is going to die.  Yep, if that does not test your belief structure.  In the rear view mirror all I could see was flashing lights and military SUV'S closing my road.. Tears were rolling down my face and sweet Sohpia was trying to lick them all away - impossible to drive with that going on.  Amazing what driving skills I have while the worst is before me.

I had to take the back road because of the dogs and so I reached my son's home in Denver by around 11 pm.  With two dogs over the top and my world possibly in flames I admit I cried more then a couple of time.  How do we grab a hold of our worst FEARS and find Faith in this???

The next two days are a blur of news reports, maps that did not make sense, county sheriff's from two neighboring lines could not decide if I could come back or not.  Finally by Friday night my son and I went out to the farm.  As we drove on the farm we held our breath because we could see a single animal but once on the drive way they appeared.  I went quickly to Kasha's trailer and I admit it I was so scared to see if she was alive.  She slowly lifted her head and gave me a very nasty look.  I had woke her up and she is never happy about that.  I tried not to squeeze her too hard but it was hard not to.  Everyone at the farm was alive and doing O.K. - scared but O.K.  The hard part was leaving again but I told them I would be back the next day. 

So Saturday morning it was back to pushing the big bears back into the small hole and head home.  All the way back I was reviewing the way I believe I live in the world.  I understand that to most I am the nutter at the Funny Farm who spends more time with 4 legged ones then with two.  I know that most believe that if we plan and follow all the rules that some how we will be safe and protected.  I also know that when we get too comfortable with the thought that we are in charge the universe decides to shake it up.  I also know that I REALLY try to stay in the present moment but REALLY I did not do a very good job but I am a work in progress.  I also know that many people  REALLY do not know me at all - they think I have a heart of stone and that I never feel fear but trust me that is not true.  It is just that for most of my life I REALLY have not had people in my corner and most have left when the going got really tough...

As the fire is less then when I left it is still burning and taking things from families.  My animals are still walking a bit in fear but they are glad I am home.  They follow me everywhere including the hens which is very strange but understandable.  I have not unpacked most of the fiber equipment because they are still asking us to be ready if things change - today we had storms, hail, and even tornado warnings so it is hard to not let down one's guard.  So again today I worked on my FEAR and FAITH issues.  I am a work in progress.

I also wish to thank all those who kept me in the light - I know and believe it is what kept all my animals safe and me on this side of sane.  At least I hope I am on the good side of sanity but if not  I guess that will give more fuel for the flames in people minds.  After this week - ASK ME IF I CARE