What is it about birds in my house????

As I sat on the front deck enjoy a cup of coffee and sending my son Nick "Happy Father's Day" wishes I heard the smack on a window. Now I do not spend much time cleaning windows here (dirt roads and horrible winds) but I do seem to get a lot of birds fly into the windows and knock themselves out. I did not make much to do about it and continued to talk to Nick. Then came another smack and another and another until I counted well over a dozen. I got up to see what in the world was going on. I looked around on the ground expecting to see a flock of birds laying motionless in the grass but nothing. Then another smack. This time I walked inside and what flew at my but this huge, screaming Magpie. I told Nick and hung up the phone because these stupid thing was flying into all my windows on right after another, knocking things all about. Now you know I do not like birds close up and this guy was WAY TOO CLOSE!!!!

After trying several things in get guide him out the doors and windows I started to get worried because now he was behind my oil lamps which where full of oil... If he knocked them onto the carpet I would have a real problem. So now we had to calm down and think our way clear of this. I HATE BIRDS IN MY HOUSE!!!

I opened all the windows thru out the house, turned on all the ceiling fams thru out the house and then slowly walked towards that stupid bird. He slowly hopped a bit forward and with each hop was making his way clear of the lamps. As soon as he cleared them I grabbed them and placed them out of harms way. Then as he hopped to the floor I slowly walked behind him towards the front door. Just as we almost reached the front door the stupid bird flew up and into my face. I admit it, he got a swift swat with my hand and out the door he went. I can't hit a baseball with a bat but I sure connected with that bird. He sat for a minute on the deck and then took to the pine trees. Did I happen to mention I HATE BIRDS IN MY HOUSE.

I guess I can say I would rather have a bird in the house then a Bear, Alligator or Lion. Guess I should be thankful it was only a bird...