Sunday, July 18, 2010

I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD !!!

Have you ever felt like you where in a movie??? I brought home a movie from the library "Dracula" with my favorite actor David Suehet playing the part of Van Helsing. Now I own about 6 or 7 different Dracula movies so I thought I would watch them all as I tried to stay in the cold dark shadows of my basement concrete floor to avoid the heat. During this heat wave I do my chores before the sunrise and go back out as the sun sets... Makes me feel more a kin to Dracula then anyone else. As always those best laid plans just never work out. I had a day of animals being in a mood and making all kinds of mischief. The first time I went out in day light is was because Sophie got off lead again and was stirring up the goat girls. By the time I got back to the house I think I lost a quart of blood... Next the big goat boys had started not really a fight but there was a ton of pushing and horn clanking so I again ventured out into the daylight. As I placed Sherlock and Avery out in the yard to just graze while the others I gave a bit of extra hay I think this time there was 2 quarts missing by the time I ran into the house. I ran down to my lair with every inch of this body feeling like the last bit of life has been drained out of me. I tried to enjoy my movies as I worked away but soon was consumed with a horrible need to scratch myself. I looked at my arms and it looked like a child with chicken pox. Then I looked at my legs and more of those horrible red bumps. MY GOD - I must not have a drop of blood left. How could this happen?? I put on my cloak of DEET before leaving the safety of my cold dark crypt. Now I understood why the sweet animals on this farm was acting out - they are slowly being drain of their life force - blood!!!

As the day dragged on and my body was reeling in tons of bumps - I wished I could summon up the blood sucking hunter Van Helsing to slay the evil doers.. Oh how I hate this time of year - The Heat, The Bloodsuckers, The Horror of it all!!

By the time sunset came the feeding frenzy was at full tilt. I was no longer even safe in the cold dark basement. Will this NEVER END! What I would not give for a snow storm right now. I would summon up my legion of bats but they where already working their little wings to a frazzle. I called on my sisterhood of the crows but their bellies where already full and hurting with their feast. Is there no creature of the night who would save me???

Finally in desperation I went to bed and pulled the sheet over my head. I could hear those blood sucking monsters trying to get the last drops of blood out of me. Fatigue took over my body and sleep was all I could do now. I prayed for a swift release from this torture. My life is one big blood sucking fest - in both my movie selections today and my lifeless body tonight.

As I awoke today with a new dawn rising I stood in the shower trying to releave all the itching that was running over my body. Just then my mind went to the shower scene in "PSYCHO" - I think I have found my new selection of movies for today. So I will turn on the OPEN sign, pull out the big sharp knives, make a batch a grilled cheese sandwich with a full pot of that special brew and I will be waiting for you to come on over for a lesson in taxidermy - got any dead things lying about???

3 comments:

monica said...

Grace, I will praying that you have a less eventful day with those little blood suckers! It hasn't been too bad here lately even with all of the humidity, but I have gotten bit over night by something 3 times in the past week and it swells up huge and itches to no end! If you have any fabric softener sheets, try rubbing them on your arms and legs. It supposed to work against mosquitoes!
Hugs,Monica

larkspur funny farm said...

Great Advise but I do not use a dryer (hang my clothes on drying racks) but might consider purchasing a few if this continues...

MamaTea said...

I hope you can find someone to save you from the horror of the blood sucking monsters!! The mosquitoes appear to be so much worse this year - I'm sure its all the rain. I used to be really anit-DEET. But now we're putting on the cloak as well. Hang in there...maybe some garlic around your neck? ;)