Monday, August 29, 2011


It struck me today that Larkspur Funny Farm is known for the strange, the unusual and the "You Got To Be Kidding" phrase used almost weekly around here.. I admit this farm sure has earned that reputation and in some respects I can hold my head up high to think of all that has happened here - The Good, The Bad and The Just Plain Weird - and made it through to the next event.

I want to first start by saying SUGAR is still moving around. This morning as I brought him his sliced cucumber and received tons and goat kisses (NO, not on my lips - that is just sick folks) and snuggle time I marveled at how his will to live each day is a continual reminder for my to shut my mouth, suck it up, move my ass and count my blessings. He may grumble but he still gets his boney butt moving even if it is a pace that a turtle could run circles around him. Great reminder to us all.

Next, as I am greeted by the hens with their morning chatter and running around - you got it "Like a chicken with their head cut off" which by they way they do when you cut their heads - I know - Sick - but you guys eat chicken don't you??? Just so we are clear here - NO ONE EATS MY HENS. I realised that I too spend a lot of my time running around just like my chickens but I think sometimes they do it with more brains in their tiny heads then I do. Lately I have wondered how to focus more on only the things that really matter but don't go to my hens for that advise - they just spent a good half hour fighting over a peach pit which none of them will every be able to pick up and carry let alone eat - WOW that sure is a life lesson there!!

The BIGGEST one this weekend was when I realize what I say does matter - that is at least to my goats - not so much with the two legged folks in my world.
For those who might not be up on all things Funny Farm - the story starts when we had a surprise baby girl named Agatha born 6/14/11 two months after all the babies had made their delivery. Then I told you all how Maggie (that is Agatha's grandmother) kept trying to seal her grand daughter away from her mother Miss Marple. Maggie had her twins 2/7/11 but was unable to care for them - one dyed and the other girl "Bella" was adopted by Mother Goose ( Who had lost her baby during the birthing process) but gladly excepted Bella. Maggie has never even looked at Bella as her own so I thought we had everything handled and all settled down. Not so fast - remember this is the Funny Farm.

I had pulled Miss Marple and the bottle kids into another pasture so all would be safe and I could care for them without the older kids and mothers hurting the little ones. Maggie for weeks on end kept trying to get Agatha to listen to her and not her mother. Maggie even told Agatha to nurse off grandmother Maggie even tho Maggie had dried up since late April. This was going to continue to be a problem because Agatha was confused as to who to listen to - so each day I would go out several times a day a scold Maggie for not behaving. I would scold Agatha for not sticking with her mother and I would scold Miss Marple for not being more attentive. So you get the picture a whole bunch of scolding and no listening.. Finally one day I had it with Maggie - I grabbed her head and looking straight in her eyes and yelled "What in the Hell are you do?" She gave me a shocked look. I continued, "You don't even have milk you nut job - you have nothing to offer..." I went on to tell her how she just might very well cost that baby it's life if she did not stop this nonsense... Now I know you are thinking - Grace, you are the nut job not Maggie.. I get that but honestly what was to be gained by this nursing through the fence with no milk thing???? Yes, I know you are going to say "Grace, they don't speak English or any other human language" You just don't get the frustration level I was feeling.. I know how badly this all can end when a little one get confused - they are also easy pray because they don't know who to listen too... Honestly folks this is not just Grace wanting to control the universe....

Well, in perfect fashion for this farm - Sunday when I admit my nerves were frayed - another night with only about two hours of sleep. I saw Agatha nursing through the fence line again. I yelled and they stopped. Then today I again saw them doing this nutty behavior so this time I walked out there to do another intervention with raised voices and finger wagging when I notice Maggie did in deed have a full milk bag... Yep, I was just as shocked... I gabbed up Agatha and opened her lips and yes there was milk in the mouth.. You Got To Be Kidding??????

O.K. I get it universe - I really got to watch what I say around here because it is just enough "Weird" to maybe have it happen. So after all this I have watched them sneak in more nursing sessions and I guess I can not yell - I told her she had nothing to offer and she showed me.

So there are the newest "Life Lessons" from around the Funny Farm - I guess I sure picked the right name for how my life works.


Jane said...

Anything that starts with the immaculate conception was just going to be weird the whole way though. Maybe next Agatha will fly, and dont be surprised if she does. After all her father must have flew two pens over to "date" her mother anyway :)

Candy C. said...

You certainly do have a "funny" farm! I LOVE it!! :)

Spinners End Farm said...

Too funny Grace.

FYI- we had a big fat Calico named "Aggie" after my fave author and another one named Miss Marples. Unfortunately Miss Marples was a bit of a nut job so she was blessed with the name "missing Marbles" most of the time....