Friday, September 7, 2012

Holly Crap Batman - I Almost Peed My Pants

Hate to be so in your face but it is what it is.  I have been letting the billies walk around the front of the farm to eat the weeds - they love it better then anything I offer.  We have enjoyed our time together and they have been such gentlemen.  One thing you might not know about me is I am a counter. You know, it seems with the business I do I am always counting, it can be the yardage I place on the niddy noddy or the number of treadles to balance the yarn or even the number of animals that I am moving back and forth.  So the other night when I placed the billies back into their pasture I did a head count - Yep I even did it twice.  Not so much OCD but a compulsive counter. At least that is the way I say it to myself.

Anyway, as I was sitting in front of the computer trying to multi task and not getting anything really done right I realized I had not closed up the coop and counted the hens.  In a mindless daze I found my outside shoes, a pair of pants and started out the shop door.  I had moved the truck up to the shop door because I was going to haul some trash down in the morning and was not wishing to hope for muscles to do the job but rather was going to take the easy way out.  As I walked passed the truck and rounded the bumper I saw out of the corner of my eye ????  With blurry eyes and all this yucky stomach thing I have been dealing with I had not clue.. My body and mind was anything but engaged.

I stood for a couple of seconds to focus and said in my head "Crap Grace, you left a goat out" Then my brain said "Oh what a sweet boy he placed himself up to the house to be safe and for me to find him"  Yep my mush brain thought even - "Oh how did one of the dogs get up here?"  Again I was standing like a silly goose thinking. There was another thought in my brain - "Grace did you remember how much tea your just consumed while sitting in front of the computer?"

Just then it stood up and I could see clearly "Holy Crap Batman, I almost Peed my Pants" it was that coyote... That's Right!!  Just relaxing and curled up like he in one of the family members.  Just then he stood up, I stood frozen for what seemed like forever thinking just not pee your pants Grace.. I know I should have been thinking other things but it is what it is.  Something inside me decided for me and I let out a tiny girly yelp and turned back and sprinted into the shop. I shut the door and stood on the other side in amazement. 

Now here is where Grace is such a silly duck.  I stood there thinking should I run out with my hatchet and run to the coop to shut the door with me inside so I could count to make sure all the girls where safe.  Next thought, should I take off my outside shoes (never walk on the carpet with shoes) and pray that I could get up the two flights of stairs and make it to the bathroom upstairs to quickly relieve myself and then run out to the coop. Or maybe I just stood there inside the shop and crossed my legs and waited a bit hoping the bugger ran towards the forest and pray the hens are safe.

So what do you think I did or should have done???


Tombstone Livestock said...

I guess I am lucky, little house out back has wood floors and no stairs but does have a bathroom if quick access is needed, LOL.

Anonymous said...

Make sure the girls are safe, so what if you peed your pants, we won't tell.

larkspur funny farm said...

Your very luck to have that layout. Shop floor is concert but I do have carpet in the main parts of the house and the carpet machines is broken so NEVER want to do that.... Would not have thought twice if I was outside but not with a coyote on the lurk... Just my luck he would be attracked to me then....

Oh Explain that one to an ER Doctor.

larkspur funny farm said...

Promise not to tell Julia??? I know - if I never told you guys who would be the wiser?? Trust me there is things I don't share but I also am very honest because I know others have had similar things.