Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Change - YUCK

What do you think of when I say the word CHANGE??
Does it strike fear all the way down to your toes? Do you break out in a cold sweat and start biting your nails?? Do you race to the medicine cabinet to get a pill or reach for a liquid refreshment to steady your mind? Do you turn into a big puddle of tears with red eyes and nose that makeup can hide. Or are you one of those who start to giggle, rubbing your hands and get a gleam in your eye for a new adventure?? Are you one of those folks who always finds a silver lining while being hit by lightening?? (O.K. that is just not normal - Right?)

Today was very interesting in the world of change. I needed to break down the pens in the barn in order to be able to get the ladies to really start tracking their kids and to get the kids to start listening to their Mothers. It is vital for this to happen if you want them to be safe, sound and start to learn the roles that will carry them through their lives.

I started slowly but within minutes the fear of change hit the barn like a tidal wave. The girls and kids have had three days with their pen gates open and limited time out in the pasture to start the process but the world was changing and they where not too happy. Now mind you they have not been in their pens more then a month max but to them it was like turning their world upside down. No matter how much I talked to them and moved slowly the noise became deafening. Finally I clapped my hands loudly (I have trained all the animals here that the sound of my clapping is a warning to REALLY pay attention) and got them all to quite down and stand still.

Just then I realized I too go round and round, self talk and sometimes to others when change is in the air for me. Over the years I have become rigid to change, maybe down right fearful. I have worked out my patterns of behavior to where I have left no room for change. I have worked so hard to get control over everything that I have forgotten that we really have no control over anything. Now I am great in emergencies and my plans have plans but I saw myself in those scared Mothers.

Once I removed the panels that where no longer needed and got the girls fresh buckets of water and sweet hay the milling around calmed down and the chatter stopped. How could I get that calm about change - no I am not talking about downing large gin and tonics or eating a pint of ice cream. Is it true that if we have the basic needs met we can handle change better? It is that only through time we can come to terms with it? Is it if others are in the same boat we feel better about of survival or at least we know everyone else is miserable? I don't think there is one right answer but I know that for me right now I am standing on the edge of big changes and wondering where that adventuresome gal went??

I am tired of milling around in circles trying to not let change find me...
So here is where I turn to you all - what gets you through Change? How easy are you with Change? What process do you use to get through Change?


Jane said...

I really laughed at the visual of you clapping your hands and all these fussing goats stop and look up at you like a second grade school teacher getting the class under control. Cute. I am not good with major change so not sure I can help you there. But what I can say is some things that look like a change for the worse, can sometimes work out to be just the thing that helps you the most.

Sheri said...

It depends on what kind of change. If it's total upheaval I think everyone kind of descends into fear first because that is human nature or like your goats, just nature. I do know what you mean about routines giving us the illusion of security. There are days I wonder just how I got here to a place where I am not as brave as I was when I was younger. I do like what Eckhart Tolle said in "A New Earth" - to find that quiet space inside yourself and remember that you are not the voice in your head and the stories that you tell yourself but the real you is the quiet space between those thoughts. The other idea I like and use when I am afraid of a future possibility is to reassure myself that for right this minute, I am fine. No one is physically threatening me, I have enough to eat and a roof over my head and all the basics covered. Once you can get into that space and realize that what worries you is future and not the present and get back into the present, the looming future becomes more manageable. I don't know if that helps or not. Change is never easy, even the good ones take time. It's kinda of like trying on a new jacket. The old one was worn in in the right places and the new one feels foreign. The new one may be warmer and doesn't have holes in the pockets, but it takes awhile for it to feel comfortable even though it's an improvement. It's just giving things a chance to fall into the new scheme of things.

Blessings, Sheri

PenCraft said...

What a thought-inspiring post! I like both previous comments. I too was laughing at the idea of the goats responding to clapping and I wondered how you trained them to do that!

I think the food and water you gave the goats fits right in with what Sheri said about knowing that we can accept change better when we count our blessings--a little sweet hay and buckets of water made the goats relax. For us, thinking about the roof over our heads and feeling gratitude for all the positive things in life can make change so much easier.

And doesn't it depend on what the change is as to how we respond? Sometimes, I do clap with glee at change. Maybe it depends how you define "change." I think of positive changes as moving forward and only label more negative things with the more ominous sounding "change" word.

By the way, thanks for your Etsy note. The dentist went great. I hope there won't be any more of those appointments for a long while now!