Crap on a Cracker Batman!!!

I swear some day's my life is worse then a bad graphic novel (comic book) from the 70's...

Who writes this crap?? The universe sure loves to put this gal through the wringer.

Here is how my life went this morning.

I got dressed to do the chores this morning after another night of horrible winds and blowing snow. I looked over the newly arranged snow drifts and planned how to get through the big gate that now has two feet of snow pushed in front of it. Got through that and on to the hen house. Opened the door to scared hens - they hate wind too. After feeding them I had to climb through a newly formed drift to get to the small barn where I put the sleds inside because I knew they would be somewhere like Fort Collins in the morning. Yep, I struggled through the thigh high snow and to the barn saying a few words that we will not type here. Just as I touched the metal latch to pull back to open the door I heard a weird sound. Not really paying attention I opened the door and a large red fox bolted out the door towards me. I gave out my Girly scream (it is a Super Power of mine) and fell back into the huge drift. As I struggled to get to my feet he made a B line for my hens. I jumped to my feet and was waving my arms while screaming at the top of my lungs. Without thinking I tried to run toward my now frantic hens as that dam fox was trying to leap through the snow to grab one in his mouth. I did my best impression of a super hero leaping by bounds in the quick sand snow. Just as he almost grab one of my littlest hens she flew in the air and right into my face. The fox leaped toward her and instead we banged bodies as I grabbed my hen like a football and tucked her under my arm and rolled face first into another drift. Just then out of thin air my crime fighting partner came to my aid. Llama Boy came charging through the deep snow screaming at the top of his lungs (His Super Power) and the fox must have jumped a good 5 feet into the sky. In a blink of an eye llama was chasing him towards the forest for all he was worth.. Meanwhile, I fought to get to an upright position while holding my hen with a death grip. I checked her all over to make sure the big bad fox had not grazed her fragile thin skin. I released her into the coop and tried to calm them all down with my magical soft voice. Not an easy task as I was still trembling from all the excitement.

Once I got the coop quite I stepped out and there was Llama Boy waiting for me. As I took a step and pain shot down my whole right side I realized I had really wrenched my right hip - Holly Crackers it Really Hurts. I thought my super hero tights would have protected me from such mundane injury. You never see Robin limping?? Wonder Women can bounce bullets off her bracelets so what happened to me?? Oh Yeah - I decided to not wear my tights and I left my cap on the back of the chair in the shop today because of the wind - thought I might become caught in a gate and strangle because of it - you never know it could happen. Memo to self always wear your cape...

So I got to do the morning chores with my heart beating just too fast for my pace, limping while pulling the heavy sleds of hay and my crime fighting buddy glued to my butt through every step required to complete the chores of the day. There was several moments that Llama Boy touched his nose to my face when I stopped because my leg felt like a bolt of lightening just went through it. His concern for my well being is his other Super Power.

When I came into the house and crumbled into the chair by the door I really could not believe the morning I just had - Wait Yes I Can !!! I wished that this was a freak event but just like all cheap comic book hero's their life may appear normal on the surface but without warning the evil drops into their lives and the poorly written drama begins.

As I sit now at the carding machine trying to return to that dull normal life I work so hard at I feel the presence of my hero watching over me and waiting for our next arch enemy to raise their evil head.. How come he doesn't have to wear tight??