Thursday, August 15, 2013

Relief and Connection

The sky turned greenish black and the mind raced with what to protect if things should get bad again.  Rounding up the animals and placing them in their safe barns, getting the hens to go to the coop and settle while I closed the doors and gave them calming words. This routine is becoming all too common but at least they trust in the knowledge that we are doing what we can.
As I returned to the house I needed to calm myself so off to the fiber prep room I went.  I tried and tried to get my creative brain working but all it was doing was sitting in the worry.  This too has become an all too daily event.  So instead of turning on the machine and forcing the issue I just sat with some of my favorite fleeces from some of my favorite sweet ones and just closed my eyes.  The feel, the smell and all the memories washed over me with such loving peace.  Before I knew it the storm had passed with not even a drop, the winds died down and the air was still.  I decided to go to the mail box and pull some weeds - all this being done at 10 pm but for this gal it could have been 10 am in my world.  I hoped to see my skunk buddy but he did not appear.  I enjoyed the stars which shone so bright and clear.  Again, before I knew it an hour had passed and many many tall weeds were uprooted and I was walking back to the house.
Upon returning a few of the big billies were asking to go out and nibble.  They too would rather be active in the cool night then during the heat of the day.  I told them "Give me a moment and I will go with you".  I placed the mail in the house, put on long pants, a jacket and grab a few provisions.  A wool blanket, the head lamp, the hatchet and a container of water.  Out the door I went and let the big guys out to the forest.  I also went and got Sherlock (the sweet face in the first picture) who is in charge of the younger boys but deserved some time away from the silliness.  Sherlock ran and gave me kisses and followed next to me as we walked the long way to the forest.  Upon reaching the forest the guy started finding their favorite nibbles.  I placed my blanket in my favorite spot and gazed up to the heavens.  Time stands still when I am there and my soul soars into a peaceful space that I never seem to find in the general world.
Hour after hour went by and in the stillness of that comforting place  I could hear the nibbling of the guys, the sounds of the owls talking high in the trees and my mind goes quite.  After they had filled their bellies they came to sit around me and rest.  Their soul energy is like a drug to me.  The pace of their breathing is hypnotic.  Soon we are all in one space, one time, one mind.  It goes beyond words.  As I rest among these big guys I know protection and trust. I was giggiling inside because Sherlock still want to lay on my chest like he did as a bottle kid but he is just too heavy for my body to allow.  Sly always wants his head on my feet and Monk lays about 8 inches from my head which I can feel his warm breath on the crown of my head.  The other lay not so close but I have a circle protecting me at all times.  In the short distance I hear Sophie working her guarding post.  I never feel loved and cared for more then I do during these adventures. They live in the moment and know nothing of the worries that surround me and them - Oh to be able to hold that in my heart and brain.
We awoke around 4 am when they asked to go in their pens - now is the time the coyotes are up and hunting so we gathered ourselves and walked back to the safety of the fence lines.  When I got back to the house I sat in front of the carding machines and within 2 hours finished 13 batts.  By that time I headed off to bed upstair, took the phone off the hook, pulled the shades closed and placed the ear buds in and asked for peaceful sleep.  I had the true rest I needed within the forest but I hoped for just a bit more.  I keep hearing that 2 or 3 hours of sleep is not enough but I will take what I get in the ways it comes to me.  As I lay there in my bed I marveled how I felt more comfortable on the cool tall grass then on a mattress.  I gave THANKS for that time with my guys and the peace they bring


Ngo Family Farm said...

You never cease to amaze me. I'm not sure I've ever been as "at one with" nature as you describe here, but I hope to be someday. xo

Amy said...

That sounds like a piece of heaven. Thanks for sharing.

I get that feeling here when I go down to the dock at night. I sit and enjoy the salty night breeze. The sound of the water slapping up on the wood. It is sooo peaceful. Great view of the stars too.

God Bless and have a wonderful day.

LLAbbott said...

Thank you for those words, Grace! You have no idea how much I needed to hear that perspective. Blessings to You and your Guys.

larkspur funny farm said...

Thank you ladies for commenting on this posting - I most of the time wonder if anyone cares about the way I walk in the world but you made the time it took to write this worth it - hugs and blessings